Positive Psychology: That’s No Way to Treat Yourself!

Positive Psychology

Isn’t it amazing that psychologists concentrated on people’s extreme problems for years and only recently started researching what makes people happy?

Learning how to control my thinking about myself has not been easy these past few years. I was extremely depressed about deaths in my family and MAD at myself for not working harder or smarter.

How do you treat yourself? Do you hold anger and resentment towards your actions bottled up inside? Are you constantly saying “I should have…?”

One of my best friends, Simone Blum and I were talking about Joy TV. I have been working on The Joy Company for over a year. During this time, I have had five web designers and I still have no website. I was complaining to Simone in anger at myself for allowing this to happen. Then, I remembered what Brad Fallon said on a webinar two nights ago. Brad said he’d been working on his new site for four years. As you may know, Brad made about a million dollars in an hour online and made multimillions besides. He has a lot of money and many people working for him to get his new project up and running. I suddenly forgave myself and a huge black cloud of disgust evaporated into the nothingness from which it came.

Simone told me something that we want to share in depth with you soon for no cost. The basic idea for you to start using immediately is to treat yourself like the precious person you are. Think about the way you would talk to yourself as the little two year old you were. Be kind and gentle. Control that irritating little voice in your head. Love yourself.

And, if you start yelling at yourself, stop it.

With love and respect,


P.S. The photo of Simone and me was taken in NYC last summer while dining in the glow of fire engine lights.

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8 Comments on “Positive Psychology: That’s No Way to Treat Yourself!

  1. Thank you for this article. Combating negative emotions is an ongoing battle, especially if you’ve lived a life of depression and anxiety. You have to work on allowing yourself to make mistakes and in some cases to be happy. Right now, my ultimate goal in life isn’t fortune or fame but to find peace of mind and true happiness.

  2. Being happy is always an inside job. As a psychologist I tell patients we must sometimes get to the root and expose the bare earth in order to plant new seeds.

    Understanding positive emotions entails the study of contentment with the past, happiness in the present, and hope for the future. Understanding positive individual traits consist of the study of the strengths and virtues, such as the capacity for love and work, courage, compassion, resilience, creativity, curiosity, integrity, self-knowledge, moderation, self-control, and wisdom. It is always about the “feelings” we attach to the outcome in any given situation along with our own expectations that gives us the ability to see “life” as ever changing, an ever evolving being. When you know you are “enough” just as you are, our lives change.

    Love to you Jeanette.

    Mary Kay Evans
    LCSW PhD
    aka Care Pathways

  3. Thank you Mary Kay!

    You’re an inspiration to me and to many more. I’m going to know I’m “enough” and expect happy feelings.

    In 1986 when I discovered Design Psychology, I researched happiness. There was little information available at that time. Isn’t it wonderful we have wise counselors today who know how to support happiness?

    By the way, Design Psychology is all about supporting the emotions to create spaces for activities. “Joy to the Home” coming soon.

  4. This is such excellent advice, and yet it is so foreign to so many in the professional help fields! We at Noomii work with professional coaches and positive psychology, and I don’t think we could have summed it up better. The only way to make progress with your life is to take stock of the amazing person that you are and build around that. Forgive and forget the anger and stay positive. Thanks for this article; I’ll be passing it out to our coaches on Twitter.

    Additionally, I’m the web developer at Noomii, and I’m personally extremely sorry to hear about your experiences with web developers. I promise, there are a few reliable and affordable ones out there. If you’d like a recommendation for a developer, I can put you in touch with someone I’ve worked with in the past. Otherwise, I do hope your on your way to your goal!

    Cole Brown

  5. It is just today that I have met you on Facebook and I am so glad! Yes it is so important to be positive and loving. It actually is miraculous!
    Love and light for you.
    Tania from Greece.

  6. I just stumbled upon your website and am so excited!
    I am a psychology graduate and enjoy helping people but have been trying to “find me way” for the past few years as many young graduates are often right now.
    Your website spoke to me. I strive to surround myself with positivity and seeing the results of my work first hand.
    I am intrigued by what you do and would love to know more.
    What degree, or classes are recommended to get into the field?

    Thank you so much!
    What does the job outlook look like?
    How would someone start?

    • Hello Gina,

      I’m not sure where you live or where you can find positive psychology programs. When I search for “Positive Psychology,” I get many university listings.

      Many of my personal friends went to the University of Santa Monica for their M.A. Program in Spiritual Psychology.

      As in any job market today, you need to be excellent, which you will be if you’re passionate about your profession.

      • Thank you!

        What got you interested interior design with it?

        What is needed for that field and what would you say the job outlook is?

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